What do I believe? I could say many things. I could say that I believe we must learn to coexist with nature so that we do not destroy it and therefore ourselves. I could say that I believe every young person has a right to discover their own passion and interests on their own, free from the judgements and criticisms of others. I could say that I believe insects are the most wondrous creatures on earth. I could say that I believe Star Trek is a perfect model for our future. I wonder, however, if I can truthfully say what I believe, since my brain is not yet fully formed. How am I supposed to know who I am and what my core beliefs are, if my sense of self is not up to the task?
Even though you are unsure of what you'll be writing for your essay, I do think that you could make your last sentences a possibility for the focus. You could say you believe that a core belief is something that is acquired over time, once you gain more experience and once your brain finishes developing. That idea is a good one and you could even go on to say that although you believe this, it doesn't diminish the understanding you have of your beliefs right now. Just that, what you believe is temporary simply because you have not finished growing, therefore have not attained a true sense of your core beliefs. This is only a suggestion based on what you've written here and you might be thinking something completely different now that you've had some more time to think about it, but whatever you come up with will be great.
I believe in giving money to the homeless, the hungry, and even the buskers. My dad says it's a waste of time to give money to the homeless and hungry; they're probably just going to go off and buy drugs with it anyway. I'm not helping them. And as for the buskers? That's just a waste. I think he thinks I'm going to give all my money away as soon as I leave for college. My mom, although she doesn't express it every time I give them money, thinks along the same lines. But I am a big believer in the best of people, and I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone on the streets is a drug addict, or mentally ill; many are just down on their luck. And everyone, from the homeless to the hungry to the buskers, deserves a chance. A chance to buy something to eat, to write amazing songs, to do whatever they need with the money I give them. Everyone deserves to be given the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. And that's why I believe in giving money to the homeless, the hungry, and the buskers: because they deserve a chance.
Well I guess I'm not exactly responding to this post after the conversation that we had today. I think that the idea you have here has potential as well, but I like that you were able to preserve the theme of your own character. I think the idea of forming your own character and your own opinions through reading about other characters is really unique. I think it will be easy for you to put a lot of emotion into your writing about books because, after talking with you today, I know that you have an abundance of ideas and a lot of passion for the idea. I think it will be important for you to put in a variety of points, from specific books and memories to when and why your connection to books came about. I think you have a really good foundation for this idea and, without any actual writing yet, I think it has the potential to be really good.
I believe in friendship. I know that's easy to say and very broad, but I am having trouble finding words to describe what I mean. I guess I believe that friendship is important so that people (ugh, I'll try to only use "I") never have to be alone because there is no alternative. I believe that friends are the strongest support I have; I think that having someone with whom I can share the ups and downs of life is of the essence. Friends are important because it's all too easy to feel alone and isolated; as an introvert, I all too often find my head spinning from too much time separated from the world, living in my own mind. I think it's crucial to have someone whom I can unreservedly show who I am, besides my family. But perhaps most importantly, I think that friendships should be strong, that I should put my all into every one of my friendships, that I must always be there for my friends. I believe that every friend should leave a mark upon me, should shape me, and I've found that friends shape my identity so much, almost more than anything else; for the most part these marks are positive, but of course some are painful scars, deep cuts to my heart, but it would be infinitely sadder if my heart remained untouched forever. Of course there's a flip side to all this, the great question of how I expect my friends to behave towards me, but that's for another assignment, I suppose.
I really like your topic, Anna. I think you've thought a lot about it and are really starting to get at what you really mean by "friendship," which I think is really important here. In class you were starting to write your thoughts kind of randomly which I think is a great idea and could help you start a really great essay. I would try to focus on yourself, rather than your expectations of your friends (which I think you realize in your last sentence which is great). I can't wait to hear the finished product, I think it's going to be a great essay!
I believe that I have no right to expect someone else to share in what I believe. I believe that my beliefs are right for me, but they may not be right for any other person in the world. I know what is best for me, but as no one else really knows me the way I know myself, I do not know anyone else enough to make decisions or implement beliefs that will be right for them. There are several examples this process in my life. Abortion is probably the best and the one that is most easy to relate to. The pro-choice side of this argument says the woman should be able to decide for herself. Pro-life says the unborn child is more important. I believe that life begins at conception, and as a result it is wrong to abort an unborn child. However, I believe that applies solely to me. I know that I would not make the choice to have an abortion, I would carry the child to term and give it up for adoption, but that is my belief and my reality and I have no right to force it on anyone else. This example works because it is so extreme, but I apply the same principle to all my beliefs, big and small.
After the conversation we had today, I can see why you think that this is a really important example to give. However, it is such a heavy subject, and it might be hard to get your idea across by using this. I am having a hard time coming up with other examples, but I really really like the premise of this. I can see that this way of thinking about things really shows a lot about you, and that is very important. I think that it was definitely a good choice for this particular paper. I think you really have to find an example that has the right balance though. Abortion, like I said before, is a very heavy topic. But the example you mentioned today, about how you dress, is I think not effective enough. It's going to be a hard task, but I have faith in you!!
I believe that my siblings are my best role models. Being the youngest of five, I have grown up with four completely different young adults to watch and learn from and I believe there is no greater guidance in my life than their lives. There are simple logical explanations for this: they are of my same generation so I can relate very directly to them and because they are part of my family I see their darker sides and most personal problems that they shield from most of the world. But take another look and you'll see that their guidance goes so much deeper. I have three sisters and one brother and all are almost polar opposites. Two of my sisters and my brother are more than ten years older than me, and as I was climbing the ranks in grade school, they were starting their lives. My other sister is only two years older than me and we lead very similar lives, so much so that when she goes through a hard time I can expect that it should be coming my way in a matter of months. It is their mistakes, victories, personalities, differences, values, and so much more that trickle down and invest themselves in my every day thoughts. I am all together a combination of them and the opposite and equal balance of them.
I think that this is a very promising topic, Julianna, and one that by necessity will be very personal and unique. I think that it would be great to have more personal examples about their lives and how they connect to your life, but I know that you've already started to put those in your essay. Your explanation of why you believe that they are your best role models sounds a bit persuasive, but I don't think that's necessarily bad because it also sets out clearly the things you'll be addressing in the essay. Last, I'm really not sure what I think of your last sentence; "opposite and equal" makes me think of physics, and I don't really see how it applies in this case. I mean, I do see what you mean, but maybe you could rephrase that.... This is going to be a great essay!
I believe in many things. But I think most of all, I believe in being there for my family whenever they need me. Over this past Thanksgiving break, I spent many many days with friends and family, and it really became clear to me that if they ever needed any sort of help, I would be there for them. Because I trust that they would be there for me as well. I was sitting with my cousin Max, who also happens to be my best friend. We were talking about our cousin Andrew. He is a felon. He went through a rough period in his life, and he made some questionable choices. Max said, "I mean he's a criminal, yeah, but he if he needed me I would be there in a second, because he is my cousin and I would do anything for him." That really got to me, and made me realize that family really is the most important thing in my life. If anyone in my family needed anything at all from me, I would drop whatever I was doing and help them. For me it is just that easy, because I believe in them, and I trust that they believe in me as well.
Even though you are switching topics, I still really like your post. It is personal, but it also holds a value that can be related to. Your example fit well with your point and made it a lot stronger. Your last sentence does a great job of wrapping it up, but I feel like it could use some explaining. One way could be to describe how this relationship with your family members makes you feel. Great job!
I believe in having consistency in my life. The situations around me are often way out of reach; they are unable to be controlled and are always occurring. My consistency is tennis, and I have been playing tennis since I was three. It meant new friendships, a never-ending challenge, and an unbreakable connection with my family members who still enjoy the life-long sport. My grandfather built the foundation of tennis in our family, but he passed away when I was only eight years old. Before, I didn’t take tennis all that seriously, I played when it was warm enough and it was just part of my weekly routine. When he passed away stopped playing tennis. It felt like his foundation was crumbling, and I wanted to get far away from any pain associated with the loss. A few weekly lessons passed, but I felt more lost than ever. I pushed people, connections, activities, and memories out of my mind, but I could not move forward. As the summer drew to a close I picked up my racket for a family doubles match. The feeling of sadness that washed over me was painful, but I left the court lighter with my release of emotions. I knew then that I would never stop playing tennis. It has become so much more than a sport; tennis will always be a consistent release in my life, and I will always be playing for not only me, but also my grandfather.
Emily, I really like this. Consistency is something that everyone can relate to and you have found yours in spades. I also like the connection to your grandfather, it strengthens the point as to why you started and continue to play and it is sweet. The only note that I would have is your second sentence. It doesn't quite make sense. What situations are the situations that are out of reach? This sentence really peaked my interest. I understand that is not what your essay is going to be about, but if you want to keep that sentence a little more explanation would be great! Great job!
I believe in art as a way for myself and others to express themselves in a unique way and activate a different part of their brain. It is true that some individuals are more inherently talented at the conventional art forms. There are people who say "I am bad at art" or "I draw like a five year old." While I understand that not everyone is objectively talented at art, I have two responses. The first being that the pride and fulfillment that comes from creating something with your own hands is impossible to imitate. When I sit down with a pen and paper and don't look up for two hours when I realize I'm hungry, I feel completely at peace. The second being that nobody said feelings of pride and fulfillment came only from conventional art forms. I believe that every single person has the capacity to be creative whether it be through dance, woodworking, painting, sculpture, music, poetry, or anything else. Not only do I believe that this capacity exists within all of us, I believe that it is beneficial to a person's entire psyche to have the opportunity to find a release through some form of art. I have expanded my definition of art greatly within my life, it is now somewhat of an all inclusive term that describes one's passion for anything from knitting to cooking to kayaking.
Since I'm not sure what your topic is, although you had some great ideas in class, I'm going to respond to this post. I think it's a strong belief; I worry that you're trying too hard to persuade other people. The body of the post reads like a persuasive essay, which needs to be avoided for This I Believe. Don't try to convince me why your belief is "right". Tell me WHY YOU BELIEVE IT. You've got some great parts to support that in here, too, with "the pride and fulfillment that comes from creating something with your own hands is impossible to imitate" and the sentence following. It's a great idea, and if you pick it, you need to take it even further. Great start, though, Meredith!
I believe that when I am alone, I am not alone. I have myself, and I have come to realize that that is a lot more than I've ever thought. To have myself. Myself is a quiet silly girl that likes to read and write stories. Myself is a thoughtful, musing girl that wastes time away by daydreaming. Myself is even a candid and angry girl that likes to yell. But, I never would've been able to appreciate myself if I hadn't have come to know myself in the past year. I've become confident, and with the rise in my self-esteem, an understanding of my worth has risen too. I like to be with myself, thinking out my thoughts and admiring the way my brain works. I am not alone, because my thoughts are alive and unique and have manifested into it's own character. Because of the way my brain functions, it has its own way of thinking. Because of the way my subconsciousness dreams, it is a sub character of my own. And I've come to realize all this and appreciate its worth. When I am alone, I am not alone. This I believe.
I know you were looking at other ideas for your essay, but even if you don’t decide to go with this one, I think it still has potential. I really like the three sentences starting with Myself, and the way you incorporated the “When I am alone, I am not alone” at the beginning and end. The part about your discovering your self-confidence could be expanded and would make a great story, and it would lead in nicely to the realization of your self-worth. Discussing the machinations of your brain and coming to the part about your mind being its own sub character would bring out the idea of your never being alone; incorporating characters from your writing would further the feeling of camaraderie you have with yourself. Overall, I think this could really work, and is a fine start to a poignant essay.
What do I believe? I could say many things. I could say that I believe we must learn to coexist with nature so that we do not destroy it and therefore ourselves. I could say that I believe every young person has a right to discover their own passion and interests on their own, free from the judgements and criticisms of others. I could say that I believe insects are the most wondrous creatures on earth. I could say that I believe Star Trek is a perfect model for our future. I wonder, however, if I can truthfully say what I believe, since my brain is not yet fully formed. How am I supposed to know who I am and what my core beliefs are, if my sense of self is not up to the task?
ReplyDeleteEven though you are unsure of what you'll be writing for your essay, I do think that you could make your last sentences a possibility for the focus. You could say you believe that a core belief is something that is acquired over time, once you gain more experience and once your brain finishes developing. That idea is a good one and you could even go on to say that although you believe this, it doesn't diminish the understanding you have of your beliefs right now. Just that, what you believe is temporary simply because you have not finished growing, therefore have not attained a true sense of your core beliefs. This is only a suggestion based on what you've written here and you might be thinking something completely different now that you've had some more time to think about it, but whatever you come up with will be great.
DeleteI believe in giving money to the homeless, the hungry, and even the buskers. My dad says it's a waste of time to give money to the homeless and hungry; they're probably just going to go off and buy drugs with it anyway. I'm not helping them. And as for the buskers? That's just a waste. I think he thinks I'm going to give all my money away as soon as I leave for college. My mom, although she doesn't express it every time I give them money, thinks along the same lines. But I am a big believer in the best of people, and I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone on the streets is a drug addict, or mentally ill; many are just down on their luck. And everyone, from the homeless to the hungry to the buskers, deserves a chance. A chance to buy something to eat, to write amazing songs, to do whatever they need with the money I give them. Everyone deserves to be given the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. And that's why I believe in giving money to the homeless, the hungry, and the buskers: because they deserve a chance.
ReplyDeleteWell I guess I'm not exactly responding to this post after the conversation that we had today. I think that the idea you have here has potential as well, but I like that you were able to preserve the theme of your own character. I think the idea of forming your own character and your own opinions through reading about other characters is really unique. I think it will be easy for you to put a lot of emotion into your writing about books because, after talking with you today, I know that you have an abundance of ideas and a lot of passion for the idea. I think it will be important for you to put in a variety of points, from specific books and memories to when and why your connection to books came about. I think you have a really good foundation for this idea and, without any actual writing yet, I think it has the potential to be really good.
DeleteI believe in friendship. I know that's easy to say and very broad, but I am having trouble finding words to describe what I mean. I guess I believe that friendship is important so that people (ugh, I'll try to only use "I") never have to be alone because there is no alternative. I believe that friends are the strongest support I have; I think that having someone with whom I can share the ups and downs of life is of the essence. Friends are important because it's all too easy to feel alone and isolated; as an introvert, I all too often find my head spinning from too much time separated from the world, living in my own mind. I think it's crucial to have someone whom I can unreservedly show who I am, besides my family. But perhaps most importantly, I think that friendships should be strong, that I should put my all into every one of my friendships, that I must always be there for my friends. I believe that every friend should leave a mark upon me, should shape me, and I've found that friends shape my identity so much, almost more than anything else; for the most part these marks are positive, but of course some are painful scars, deep cuts to my heart, but it would be infinitely sadder if my heart remained untouched forever. Of course there's a flip side to all this, the great question of how I expect my friends to behave towards me, but that's for another assignment, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteI really like your topic, Anna. I think you've thought a lot about it and are really starting to get at what you really mean by "friendship," which I think is really important here. In class you were starting to write your thoughts kind of randomly which I think is a great idea and could help you start a really great essay. I would try to focus on yourself, rather than your expectations of your friends (which I think you realize in your last sentence which is great). I can't wait to hear the finished product, I think it's going to be a great essay!
DeleteI believe that I have no right to expect someone else to share in what I believe. I believe that my beliefs are right for me, but they may not be right for any other person in the world. I know what is best for me, but as no one else really knows me the way I know myself, I do not know anyone else enough to make decisions or implement beliefs that will be right for them. There are several examples this process in my life. Abortion is probably the best and the one that is most easy to relate to. The pro-choice side of this argument says the woman should be able to decide for herself. Pro-life says the unborn child is more important. I believe that life begins at conception, and as a result it is wrong to abort an unborn child. However, I believe that applies solely to me. I know that I would not make the choice to have an abortion, I would carry the child to term and give it up for adoption, but that is my belief and my reality and I have no right to force it on anyone else. This example works because it is so extreme, but I apply the same principle to all my beliefs, big and small.
ReplyDeleteAfter the conversation we had today, I can see why you think that this is a really important example to give. However, it is such a heavy subject, and it might be hard to get your idea across by using this. I am having a hard time coming up with other examples, but I really really like the premise of this. I can see that this way of thinking about things really shows a lot about you, and that is very important. I think that it was definitely a good choice for this particular paper. I think you really have to find an example that has the right balance though. Abortion, like I said before, is a very heavy topic. But the example you mentioned today, about how you dress, is I think not effective enough. It's going to be a hard task, but I have faith in you!!
DeleteI believe that my siblings are my best role models. Being the youngest of five, I have grown up with four completely different young adults to watch and learn from and I believe there is no greater guidance in my life than their lives. There are simple logical explanations for this: they are of my same generation so I can relate very directly to them and because they are part of my family I see their darker sides and most personal problems that they shield from most of the world. But take another look and you'll see that their guidance goes so much deeper. I have three sisters and one brother and all are almost polar opposites. Two of my sisters and my brother are more than ten years older than me, and as I was climbing the ranks in grade school, they were starting their lives. My other sister is only two years older than me and we lead very similar lives, so much so that when she goes through a hard time I can expect that it should be coming my way in a matter of months. It is their mistakes, victories, personalities, differences, values, and so much more that trickle down and invest themselves in my every day thoughts. I am all together a combination of them and the opposite and equal balance of them.
ReplyDeleteI think that this is a very promising topic, Julianna, and one that by necessity will be very personal and unique. I think that it would be great to have more personal examples about their lives and how they connect to your life, but I know that you've already started to put those in your essay. Your explanation of why you believe that they are your best role models sounds a bit persuasive, but I don't think that's necessarily bad because it also sets out clearly the things you'll be addressing in the essay. Last, I'm really not sure what I think of your last sentence; "opposite and equal" makes me think of physics, and I don't really see how it applies in this case. I mean, I do see what you mean, but maybe you could rephrase that.... This is going to be a great essay!
DeleteI believe in many things. But I think most of all, I believe in being there for my family whenever they need me. Over this past Thanksgiving break, I spent many many days with friends and family, and it really became clear to me that if they ever needed any sort of help, I would be there for them. Because I trust that they would be there for me as well. I was sitting with my cousin Max, who also happens to be my best friend. We were talking about our cousin Andrew. He is a felon. He went through a rough period in his life, and he made some questionable choices. Max said, "I mean he's a criminal, yeah, but he if he needed me I would be there in a second, because he is my cousin and I would do anything for him." That really got to me, and made me realize that family really is the most important thing in my life. If anyone in my family needed anything at all from me, I would drop whatever I was doing and help them. For me it is just that easy, because I believe in them, and I trust that they believe in me as well.
ReplyDeleteEven though you are switching topics, I still really like your post. It is personal, but it also holds a value that can be related to. Your example fit well with your point and made it a lot stronger. Your last sentence does a great job of wrapping it up, but I feel like it could use some explaining. One way could be to describe how this relationship with your family members makes you feel. Great job!
DeleteI believe in having consistency in my life. The situations around me are often way out of reach; they are unable to be controlled and are always occurring. My consistency is tennis, and I have been playing tennis since I was three. It meant new friendships, a never-ending challenge, and an unbreakable connection with my family members who still enjoy the life-long sport. My grandfather built the foundation of tennis in our family, but he passed away when I was only eight years old. Before, I didn’t take tennis all that seriously, I played when it was warm enough and it was just part of my weekly routine. When he passed away stopped playing tennis. It felt like his foundation was crumbling, and I wanted to get far away from any pain associated with the loss. A few weekly lessons passed, but I felt more lost than ever. I pushed people, connections, activities, and memories out of my mind, but I could not move forward. As the summer drew to a close I picked up my racket for a family doubles match. The feeling of sadness that washed over me was painful, but I left the court lighter with my release of emotions. I knew then that I would never stop playing tennis. It has become so much more than a sport; tennis will always be a consistent release in my life, and I will always be playing for not only me, but also my grandfather.
ReplyDeleteEmily, I really like this. Consistency is something that everyone can relate to and you have found yours in spades. I also like the connection to your grandfather, it strengthens the point as to why you started and continue to play and it is sweet. The only note that I would have is your second sentence. It doesn't quite make sense. What situations are the situations that are out of reach? This sentence really peaked my interest. I understand that is not what your essay is going to be about, but if you want to keep that sentence a little more explanation would be great! Great job!
DeleteI believe in art as a way for myself and others to express themselves in a unique way and activate a different part of their brain. It is true that some individuals are more inherently talented at the conventional art forms. There are people who say "I am bad at art" or "I draw like a five year old." While I understand that not everyone is objectively talented at art, I have two responses. The first being that the pride and fulfillment that comes from creating something with your own hands is impossible to imitate. When I sit down with a pen and paper and don't look up for two hours when I realize I'm hungry, I feel completely at peace. The second being that nobody said feelings of pride and fulfillment came only from conventional art forms. I believe that every single person has the capacity to be creative whether it be through dance, woodworking, painting, sculpture, music, poetry, or anything else. Not only do I believe that this capacity exists within all of us, I believe that it is beneficial to a person's entire psyche to have the opportunity to find a release through some form of art. I have expanded my definition of art greatly within my life, it is now somewhat of an all inclusive term that describes one's passion for anything from knitting to cooking to kayaking.
ReplyDeleteSince I'm not sure what your topic is, although you had some great ideas in class, I'm going to respond to this post. I think it's a strong belief; I worry that you're trying too hard to persuade other people. The body of the post reads like a persuasive essay, which needs to be avoided for This I Believe. Don't try to convince me why your belief is "right". Tell me WHY YOU BELIEVE IT. You've got some great parts to support that in here, too, with "the pride and fulfillment that comes from creating something with your own hands is impossible to imitate" and the sentence following. It's a great idea, and if you pick it, you need to take it even further. Great start, though, Meredith!
DeleteI believe that when I am alone, I am not alone. I have myself, and I have come to realize that that is a lot more than I've ever thought. To have myself. Myself is a quiet silly girl that likes to read and write stories. Myself is a thoughtful, musing girl that wastes time away by daydreaming. Myself is even a candid and angry girl that likes to yell. But, I never would've been able to appreciate myself if I hadn't have come to know myself in the past year. I've become confident, and with the rise in my self-esteem, an understanding of my worth has risen too. I like to be with myself, thinking out my thoughts and admiring the way my brain works. I am not alone, because my thoughts are alive and unique and have manifested into it's own character. Because of the way my brain functions, it has its own way of thinking. Because of the way my subconsciousness dreams, it is a sub character of my own. And I've come to realize all this and appreciate its worth. When I am alone, I am not alone. This I believe.
ReplyDeleteI know you were looking at other ideas for your essay, but even if you don’t decide to go with this one, I think it still has potential. I really like the three sentences starting with Myself, and the way you incorporated the “When I am alone, I am not alone” at the beginning and end. The part about your discovering your self-confidence could be expanded and would make a great story, and it would lead in nicely to the realization of your self-worth. Discussing the machinations of your brain and coming to the part about your mind being its own sub character would bring out the idea of your never being alone; incorporating characters from your writing would further the feeling of camaraderie you have with yourself. Overall, I think this could really work, and is a fine start to a poignant essay.
Delete