Driving to school in the morning should not be something that is worrisome or stress inducing, but for some reason, all I can think about when I am driving on the highway is getting in a car accident. Why is that such a prominent fear in my mind? I have no idea. I have only ever been in one car accident in my life. Once when I was a kid, I was in a car with my grandmother and my older sister. We came to a fairly dangerous intersection and before I knew it the car was spinning out of control and we crashed into the trees on the other side of the road. My sister and I were in the back seats, and the only damage to our bodies were some minor bruises. My grandmother passed out in the front seat, and we had no idea what to do. I don't remember much else besides being taken back to her house by a cop, and our german au pair drove up to Buxton and brought us back home.
I am in the phase of applying to college where I am worried that I won’t get in anywhere. I applied to one school ED and now I have to prep all the other applications in case I don’t get in there. I look at these schools and I am not really sure I want to go to some of them, and others I don’t think I will get into because of ridiculous acceptance rates. What would happen if I just didn’t get in anywhere. I am planning on taking a gap year anyway, but what would I tell people… “whoops yeah I just didn’t get in...so I am going to take some time for myself…” I feel like that could take a long time to recover from. I hope everything works out. But even if I do get accepted at a school I don’t love, I will be able to transfer, but what if I don’t even get into a safety school. I know I will probably be fine and it will all work out, but what if...
It was around 7:00 in the morning, and I was exhausted. I had barely gotten two or three hours of sleep the night before, after arriving in Baltimore via plane from Florida, and being told that our connecting flight to Portland had already left. My dad and I had dragged ourselves out of the airport and into a cab which brought us to a small, run-down La Quinta Inn and Suites in Glen Burnie. It had not been a pleasant stay, and I was not looking forward to going through airport security again. As my dad paid the hotel manager, I wandered outside with my luggage. A shape on the side of the wall caught my eye. My eyes popped open. I pinched myself and looked away, thinking I must be hallucinating. I turned back. This was no dream. A gorgeous Pandorus sphinx moth sat on the hotel wall, its green, black, and white striped wings perfectly pristine. I walked up to it, and touched it with my trembling fingers. A fat furry leg grabbed at me. “Yes!”, I thought to myself, as I scrambled to pull out my camera. After a quick photo shoot, I placed the moth in the bushes and hurled my luggage into the now-arriving cab while my dad hurried out of the hotel. Later, as I was (finally!) getting on the plane, I thought to myself, how did that happen? How did such a wondrous creature appear in the midst of an absolutely rotten day? Was it just serendipity, or were the insects trying to boost my spirits? I’ll never know, of course, but it’s comforting to think that no matter how bad a situation is, there’s always an insect close by.
Sometimes I question how others perceive me. Sometimes, for no particular reason, I try to see the world from other people's eyes; how the world might look to a teacher in one of my classes, how the world might look to someone sitting across a table from me in the Atrium. Trying to see through their eyes, I wonder how I appear. What do my teachers actually think of me? Do they see beyond the blond hair falling into my face to the devoted student that I see when I look at myself? What do my friends see when they look at me? I think that I accept that there is no way to ever know these things for sure, but I still wonder, as if I could find the answers, as if knowing the answers would change anything at all.
I really like this, Anna! I think this is a really common question, and I know that I have asked myself this a number of times. I really like how you describe what others might be seeing ("blond hair falling into my face"). I also think you touch on a very universal subject of wondering about things you know you will never know the answer too; I think everyone has experienced that. I would like to know a little more about the differences between how others might see you and how you see yourself, but overall, really nice job!
My life is filled with questions. I dread not knowing what is to come, so I often try to prepare myself in anyway possible. However, no matter how much planning I do, I still must face the uncertainty. The most common question that runs through my head is the well known “what if”. What if this person doesn’t like me? What if I do not get into college? The “what if” is just the beginning. What follows is the over analysis - the “who, what, when, where, why, how” questions – that can consume my thoughts for a while. Maybe I am just so overwhelmed that questioning has become a major part of dealing with and organizing the factors around me. The search for control seems endless and always seems to end in a question mark, doesn’t it?
I really like this, Emily! It's very relatable. Your two examples of what ifs are great, with two very different but equally important questions. I also love your talking about what comes after the what if, because people seldom address how what if is only the tip of the iceberg. It was a strong choice to end with a question to prove your point, too. It would be nice if you took your two example what ifs and talked about how your overanalyze them, but it's great as is. Great job!
I often question what I put my time into. I realize that good grades and staying out of trouble put me in a good position for a bright future but sometimes I think if I am only worried about the future, will it ever really come? Or will I always be wasting today preparing for tomorrow. I read a quote the other day that was basically to the effect of "never don't go after something today because you think you will be able to buy it in the future." That hit home with me, because whether it's buying or simply having time for, I think that is something my life is majorly centered around, and I question it deeply. I know I can't have everything immediately, truly great things take preparation and patience and hard work. But sometimes I think I am too focused on the preparation, patience and hard work to even have time for the result. For the most part though, I think this way of working really fits me, I find it hard to be content at anything but a stressful pace. Maybe that's the real issue, am I missing out on life because of this constant need I have to prepare for the next?
This is really nice, Julianna. It’s a topic that is fairly common, but always makes one stop and think. I’d like to see a little more on the duality between the part of you that thinks you’re too focused on preparation, and the part of you that thinks that’s who you are. Otherwise, I think this is perfect: the semi-inclusion of a quote was interesting, “effect” was used correctly, and finishing on a question made for a very strong ending.
The only question that pops into my head right now is why I am not asleep. To which I answer back quickly with "because I have homework." But even if I had already finished my homework earlier today, I still wouldn't be asleep, even though I am very tired. And this is one of the things that completely confuses me about myself. It seems that I am seeking distractions, like Tumblr or watching bad shows instead of going to sleep. But then I ask myself why that is? Why do I feel the need to fill my head with a clutter of noise or other people's thoughts? Is it because I don't want to be alone with my own? It seems that as time goes on, the more I am connected with technology in general, the less time I have to be by myself, just my thoughts and I. And maybe that's exactly the reason why I don't put down my phone until I'm too tired to think. So I don't have to.
I like this Moon but it is kind of sad. It is sad to think that you may have thoughts that you can't face. And I know just what you mean about technology. I feel like since I got my iphone I am always checking my phone where before I would occasionally check and usually wouldn't respond to a text unless I really wanted to. Sometimes I just want to throw it all away and slow down. But I don't think that can happen.
This is very well constructed, and I really enjoyed reading it. I especially liked the end, because it tied everything together while setting a very definite end to the piece. I also thought your use of questions captured the prompt very nicely without being too heavy-handed. Really nice job!
Driving to school in the morning should not be something that is worrisome or stress inducing, but for some reason, all I can think about when I am driving on the highway is getting in a car accident. Why is that such a prominent fear in my mind? I have no idea. I have only ever been in one car accident in my life. Once when I was a kid, I was in a car with my grandmother and my older sister. We came to a fairly dangerous intersection and before I knew it the car was spinning out of control and we crashed into the trees on the other side of the road. My sister and I were in the back seats, and the only damage to our bodies were some minor bruises. My grandmother passed out in the front seat, and we had no idea what to do. I don't remember much else besides being taken back to her house by a cop, and our german au pair drove up to Buxton and brought us back home.
ReplyDeleteI am in the phase of applying to college where I am worried that I won’t get in anywhere. I applied to one school ED and now I have to prep all the other applications in case I don’t get in there. I look at these schools and I am not really sure I want to go to some of them, and others I don’t think I will get into because of ridiculous acceptance rates. What would happen if I just didn’t get in anywhere. I am planning on taking a gap year anyway, but what would I tell people… “whoops yeah I just didn’t get in...so I am going to take some time for myself…” I feel like that could take a long time to recover from. I hope everything works out. But even if I do get accepted at a school I don’t love, I will be able to transfer, but what if I don’t even get into a safety school. I know I will probably be fine and it will all work out, but what if...
ReplyDeleteIt was around 7:00 in the morning, and I was exhausted. I had barely gotten two or three hours of sleep the night before, after arriving in Baltimore via plane from Florida, and being told that our connecting flight to Portland had already left. My dad and I had dragged ourselves out of the airport and into a cab which brought us to a small, run-down La Quinta Inn and Suites in Glen Burnie. It had not been a pleasant stay, and I was not looking forward to going through airport security again. As my dad paid the hotel manager, I wandered outside with my luggage. A shape on the side of the wall caught my eye. My eyes popped open. I pinched myself and looked away, thinking I must be hallucinating. I turned back. This was no dream. A gorgeous Pandorus sphinx moth sat on the hotel wall, its green, black, and white striped wings perfectly pristine. I walked up to it, and touched it with my trembling fingers. A fat furry leg grabbed at me. “Yes!”, I thought to myself, as I scrambled to pull out my camera. After a quick photo shoot, I placed the moth in the bushes and hurled my luggage into the now-arriving cab while my dad hurried out of the hotel.
ReplyDeleteLater, as I was (finally!) getting on the plane, I thought to myself, how did that happen? How did such a wondrous creature appear in the midst of an absolutely rotten day? Was it just serendipity, or were the insects trying to boost my spirits? I’ll never know, of course, but it’s comforting to think that no matter how bad a situation is, there’s always an insect close by.
Sometimes I question how others perceive me. Sometimes, for no particular reason, I try to see the world from other people's eyes; how the world might look to a teacher in one of my classes, how the world might look to someone sitting across a table from me in the Atrium. Trying to see through their eyes, I wonder how I appear. What do my teachers actually think of me? Do they see beyond the blond hair falling into my face to the devoted student that I see when I look at myself? What do my friends see when they look at me? I think that I accept that there is no way to ever know these things for sure, but I still wonder, as if I could find the answers, as if knowing the answers would change anything at all.
ReplyDeleteI really like this, Anna! I think this is a really common question, and I know that I have asked myself this a number of times. I really like how you describe what others might be seeing ("blond hair falling into my face"). I also think you touch on a very universal subject of wondering about things you know you will never know the answer too; I think everyone has experienced that. I would like to know a little more about the differences between how others might see you and how you see yourself, but overall, really nice job!
DeleteMy life is filled with questions. I dread not knowing what is to come, so I often try to prepare myself in anyway possible. However, no matter how much planning I do, I still must face the uncertainty. The most common question that runs through my head is the well known “what if”. What if this person doesn’t like me? What if I do not get into college? The “what if” is just the beginning. What follows is the over analysis - the “who, what, when, where, why, how” questions – that can consume my thoughts for a while. Maybe I am just so overwhelmed that questioning has become a major part of dealing with and organizing the factors around me. The search for control seems endless and always seems to end in a question mark, doesn’t it?
ReplyDeleteI really like this, Emily! It's very relatable. Your two examples of what ifs are great, with two very different but equally important questions. I also love your talking about what comes after the what if, because people seldom address how what if is only the tip of the iceberg. It was a strong choice to end with a question to prove your point, too. It would be nice if you took your two example what ifs and talked about how your overanalyze them, but it's great as is. Great job!
DeleteI question whether the world will turn out okay. Cliché, I know, but it's true. I often have a lot of trouble deciding whether or not I like the guest speakers who come in to talk to us about a major world issue. They make me feel guilty a lot of the time, because at this point, I'm not sure I want to be an activist like they are, and to me it feels like that's all our generation is supposed to be. But other times, I am so grateful for the guest speakers, and not because if they're out being activists I don't have to be. I really, really enjoy hearing what they have to say, and in some ways their presentations are one of my favorite parts of the school year.
ReplyDeleteThat's just one small example, a glimpse into my psyche. But the real issue, the big picture, is where we're headed. Because most of the time, it looks like we aren't headed anywhere good, or even anywhere at all. I feel like we're out of control on a dead end street, unable to control whatever vehicle we're in anymore. It's out of our hands, and we're going to crash.
But there are some moments, some brief, fantastic moments, where I feel lucky to be alive in this day and age. Those moments make me believe everything will be fine. We will regain control and divert ourselves down a new alleyway, avoiding the crash altogether.
Most of the time, however hopeful I am, I'm just not sure.
Haley Jo, I like how you turn a “cliché” question into something new using a personal experience. I think it would have been nice to discuss a specific presentation that struck you. However, I liked that you talked about the guilt of listening to the presentations, which brings up the question “Should we do this because we feel guilty or because we feel empowered to do so?” The beginning and end of your post are very different and could maybe use a stronger transition to pull the whole thing together, but overall I like how it begins broad, narrows in, and then becomes broad again. Nice work!
DeleteI often question what I put my time into. I realize that good grades and staying out of trouble put me in a good position for a bright future but sometimes I think if I am only worried about the future, will it ever really come? Or will I always be wasting today preparing for tomorrow. I read a quote the other day that was basically to the effect of "never don't go after something today because you think you will be able to buy it in the future." That hit home with me, because whether it's buying or simply having time for, I think that is something my life is majorly centered around, and I question it deeply. I know I can't have everything immediately, truly great things take preparation and patience and hard work. But sometimes I think I am too focused on the preparation, patience and hard work to even have time for the result. For the most part though, I think this way of working really fits me, I find it hard to be content at anything but a stressful pace. Maybe that's the real issue, am I missing out on life because of this constant need I have to prepare for the next?
ReplyDeleteThis is really nice, Julianna. It’s a topic that is fairly common, but always makes one stop and think. I’d like to see a little more on the duality between the part of you that thinks you’re too focused on preparation, and the part of you that thinks that’s who you are. Otherwise, I think this is perfect: the semi-inclusion of a quote was interesting, “effect” was used correctly, and finishing on a question made for a very strong ending.
DeleteThe only question that pops into my head right now is why I am not asleep. To which I answer back quickly with "because I have homework." But even if I had already finished my homework earlier today, I still wouldn't be asleep, even though I am very tired. And this is one of the things that completely confuses me about myself. It seems that I am seeking distractions, like Tumblr or watching bad shows instead of going to sleep. But then I ask myself why that is? Why do I feel the need to fill my head with a clutter of noise or other people's thoughts? Is it because I don't want to be alone with my own? It seems that as time goes on, the more I am connected with technology in general, the less time I have to be by myself, just my thoughts and I. And maybe that's exactly the reason why I don't put down my phone until I'm too tired to think. So I don't have to.
ReplyDeleteI like this Moon but it is kind of sad. It is sad to think that you may have thoughts that you can't face. And I know just what you mean about technology. I feel like since I got my iphone I am always checking my phone where before I would occasionally check and usually wouldn't respond to a text unless I really wanted to. Sometimes I just want to throw it all away and slow down. But I don't think that can happen.
DeleteThis is very well constructed, and I really enjoyed reading it. I especially liked the end, because it tied everything together while setting a very definite end to the piece. I also thought your use of questions captured the prompt very nicely without being too heavy-handed. Really nice job!
Delete