I wish people knew how funny I can be. Not because I want people to like me, or because I'm vain or self-centered. It's just that it feels like people can't really get to know the real me if they don't know that I'm funny. See, I can be super socially awkward, too, and I don't really know how to be good at conversation. The times when I'm funniest are when I'm with people I'm comfortable with who get my sense of humor (read: my family). It's a little sad that they're the only ones who really get to see that side of me, especially because I love to laugh and to make other people laugh. I guess I've just gotta work on the whole socially awkward thing.
I wish people knew how innocent and naive my life was, up until 8th grade. I suppose it might be termed as sheltered, but that has a negative connotation; I grew up in perfect bliss, always happy, and I liked it that way. Perhaps I was a bit spoiled. I wasn’t introduced to technology of any sort until 6th grade, and even then, it remained an unimportant part of my existence. Nowadays, the internet is my other home when I’m not outside. There’s many advantages to all this, of course, but some days I wake up and think to myself, geesh, I wish I could go back to my old life. It reminds me of a race from Star Trek called the Drayans; they were born as old people and as they aged, they slowly got younger, so thus once they looked like little kids, they were really old. It was never explained how exactly this happened, but never mind that. It’s a nice idea, but sadly one that I can never replicate. So sometimes I just jump backwards in time in my mind, but it’s just not the same.
I wish that people knew how very, very hard I try to be socially accepted and well-liked. I think that people see me as being smart and a bit socially distant, and while both of these are true, I think that people often overlook how hard I try to be socially accepted. Yes, I can struggle with reading people's expressions, and yes, I never know quite what to say or do during a social interaction, but I want nothing more than to be accepted and to have friends. I try to ignore my suffocating fear of rejection, I try to make whoever I'm talking to feel comfortable. I think that usually I do a pretty good job of making small talk: asking leading questions, being slightly humorous, smiling. But I wish that people knew how much of an effort it is for me, and that even when I don't come across as being especially effusive, my heart is there.
I am an introvert. I can be very social when I want to be, but I wish people knew how much effort it took and how draining it was. At Chewonki one of my good friends was one of the most extraverted people I know. She hated spending time by herself, and even wanted someone to come with her to the bathroom for company. I had to explain to her that talking to other people was actually actually very draining for me, so I couldn’t spend every second with her because I might fall over from exhaustion. Sometimes people don’t realize that I need to spend time alone. Sometimes I can’t even be in the same house with my parents and I have to go and be completely alone. Sometimes even being with my cat is too much. Sometimes it seems like I might go off and be a hermit. I wish people knew that off the bat.
I really like this, Emmy! I know exactly how you feel, and thought that the example with your extraverted friend was a good one, especially the "even wanted someone to come with her to the bathroom for company" part, which made me smile, because it was so recognizable and yet (to people like us) so incomprehensible. I like the last few sentences with the "sometimes..." construction, including the point about your cat, which somehow brought your point home. Great job!
I wish people knew how hard this blog post was for me. Literally I have been at this for a half an hour and have gotten no where. I've even googled it and asked my friends and gotten no help. I can't be the only one that has had this problem. At some point or another we've all just not known a thing to say. I'm not sure there is anything I want everyone to know about me. Maybe a few people, like my parents, but not everyone. So, after a half an hour, I guess this is what I want everyone to know: responding to what I want everyone to know about me is really hard for me. Really, really hard.
I wish that, my friends especially, saw the angrier side of me. I know that might seem like an odd thing to wish for, but seeing different sides of a person brings you closer to them. It's not like I haven't gotten into arguments with my friends, because I have, I've just never yelled at them like I do at home, which is something that bothers me. I'm never as angry as I am at home. When I walk through the door, coming from work where I've had to smile at people nonstop, or from school where I have to focus constantly, all the exhaustion that I've kept at bay hits me. But, it's more than that still. When I'm away from home, it is the time to forget about my worries. I use the time at school, with my friends, doing what I like to do, as an opportunity to tune everything else that has been bothering me. It's almost like an escape. And as soon as I get home, I am angry and mean and short-tempered once more, and this really bothers me because it's gotten to the point where I can't tell which side of me is closer to the truth.
I wish people knew that it’s hard for me to trust. I often find myself searching for where this feeling originated but there is no one event. My mom is constantly warning me about how dangerous it is to keep feelings inside, but this mostly seems like a plan to build a stronger relationship. I have been trying to blurt out little details of my life to my friends, some of which I have known since Kindergarten, but it is hard sharing events happening in the moment. It is not that I do not trust my friends, but rather that we will all be going our separate way soon, and a trivial thing such as my past is not all that important. Maybe I do not want to let go – either to my memories or those I trust - because I know I will have to start over once again, and hiding part of me until someone has the patience to let me open up in my own time.
I wish people knew how funny I can be. Not because I want people to like me, or because I'm vain or self-centered. It's just that it feels like people can't really get to know the real me if they don't know that I'm funny. See, I can be super socially awkward, too, and I don't really know how to be good at conversation. The times when I'm funniest are when I'm with people I'm comfortable with who get my sense of humor (read: my family). It's a little sad that they're the only ones who really get to see that side of me, especially because I love to laugh and to make other people laugh. I guess I've just gotta work on the whole socially awkward thing.
ReplyDeleteI wish people knew how innocent and naive my life was, up until 8th grade. I suppose it might be termed as sheltered, but that has a negative connotation; I grew up in perfect bliss, always happy, and I liked it that way. Perhaps I was a bit spoiled. I wasn’t introduced to technology of any sort until 6th grade, and even then, it remained an unimportant part of my existence. Nowadays, the internet is my other home when I’m not outside. There’s many advantages to all this, of course, but some days I wake up and think to myself, geesh, I wish I could go back to my old life. It reminds me of a race from Star Trek called the Drayans; they were born as old people and as they aged, they slowly got younger, so thus once they looked like little kids, they were really old. It was never explained how exactly this happened, but never mind that. It’s a nice idea, but sadly one that I can never replicate. So sometimes I just jump backwards in time in my mind, but it’s just not the same.
ReplyDeleteI wish that people knew how very, very hard I try to be socially accepted and well-liked. I think that people see me as being smart and a bit socially distant, and while both of these are true, I think that people often overlook how hard I try to be socially accepted. Yes, I can struggle with reading people's expressions, and yes, I never know quite what to say or do during a social interaction, but I want nothing more than to be accepted and to have friends. I try to ignore my suffocating fear of rejection, I try to make whoever I'm talking to feel comfortable. I think that usually I do a pretty good job of making small talk: asking leading questions, being slightly humorous, smiling. But I wish that people knew how much of an effort it is for me, and that even when I don't come across as being especially effusive, my heart is there.
ReplyDeleteI am an introvert. I can be very social when I want to be, but I wish people knew how much effort it took and how draining it was. At Chewonki one of my good friends was one of the most extraverted people I know. She hated spending time by herself, and even wanted someone to come with her to the bathroom for company. I had to explain to her that talking to other people was actually actually very draining for me, so I couldn’t spend every second with her because I might fall over from exhaustion. Sometimes people don’t realize that I need to spend time alone. Sometimes I can’t even be in the same house with my parents and I have to go and be completely alone. Sometimes even being with my cat is too much. Sometimes it seems like I might go off and be a hermit. I wish people knew that off the bat.
ReplyDeleteI really like this, Emmy! I know exactly how you feel, and thought that the example with your extraverted friend was a good one, especially the "even wanted someone to come with her to the bathroom for company" part, which made me smile, because it was so recognizable and yet (to people like us) so incomprehensible. I like the last few sentences with the "sometimes..." construction, including the point about your cat, which somehow brought your point home. Great job!
DeleteI wish people knew how hard this blog post was for me. Literally I have been at this for a half an hour and have gotten no where. I've even googled it and asked my friends and gotten no help. I can't be the only one that has had this problem. At some point or another we've all just not known a thing to say. I'm not sure there is anything I want everyone to know about me. Maybe a few people, like my parents, but not everyone. So, after a half an hour, I guess this is what I want everyone to know: responding to what I want everyone to know about me is really hard for me. Really, really hard.
ReplyDeleteI wish that, my friends especially, saw the angrier side of me. I know that might seem like an odd thing to wish for, but seeing different sides of a person brings you closer to them. It's not like I haven't gotten into arguments with my friends, because I have, I've just never yelled at them like I do at home, which is something that bothers me. I'm never as angry as I am at home. When I walk through the door, coming from work where I've had to smile at people nonstop, or from school where I have to focus constantly, all the exhaustion that I've kept at bay hits me. But, it's more than that still. When I'm away from home, it is the time to forget about my worries. I use the time at school, with my friends, doing what I like to do, as an opportunity to tune everything else that has been bothering me. It's almost like an escape. And as soon as I get home, I am angry and mean and short-tempered once more, and this really bothers me because it's gotten to the point where I can't tell which side of me is closer to the truth.
ReplyDeleteI wish people knew that it’s hard for me to trust. I often find myself searching for where this feeling originated but there is no one event. My mom is constantly warning me about how dangerous it is to keep feelings inside, but this mostly seems like a plan to build a stronger relationship. I have been trying to blurt out little details of my life to my friends, some of which I have known since Kindergarten, but it is hard sharing events happening in the moment. It is not that I do not trust my friends, but rather that we will all be going our separate way soon, and a trivial thing such as my past is not all that important. Maybe I do not want to let go – either to my memories or those I trust - because I know I will have to start over once again, and hiding part of me until someone has the patience to let me open up in my own time.
ReplyDelete