Sometimes I get scared by the simplest things. It might be a gesture, a glance, a lack of either. Something inconsequential, and suddenly I am frightened, my heartbeat racing while I struggle to breath calmly. I am not terrified of the offending person, per se, more that I have given them too much of me. That they will take whatever I have given them and smash it back in my face. I'd laugh at myself if I could. A fear of rejection. It seems so trivial, but in those moments, it is the most significant part of me. So it has become my goal, my positive risk, to put myself out there more, even just a little bit. Even if it makes me want to hide. I don't want to be scared. I want to be strong. And so I make eye contact, shove my chin up a bit, and smile. Everything is going to be alright.
This is one of the most relatable posts that I've read, Haley Jo! It is well-constructed, as you describe the feeling of being afraid of being rejected, and then fluidly shift to how it afterwards seems like a trivial fear (though really, in the moment, there's nothing less trivial), and then end optimistically with how you counter your fear. The only thing I would change would be maybe to describe a bit more what makes you fear rejection--what you've said gets the idea across well, but it could be expanded. Really great job!
My favorite holiday is Christmas, which we always celebrate with my grandparents in NH and various aunts, uncles, and cousins. It's steeped in tradition and only gets better with each passing year. But what I like even better than Christmas is the week following it, before school starts again. We spend that week (give or take a few days; sadly, the past few years have been "take" years) up at Sugarloaf, and while it's more crowded during vacation weeks than most weekends, there's an especially festive atmosphere. Plus, unlike normal weekends, there's never any homework to worry about, and, since we go straight from my grandparents' to our condo, I can surround myself with all my presents. There's also the Family New Years Eve party (I haven't worked up to the teen dance party yet, and probably never will), and watching the ball drop on TV, ringing in the new year. Family and presents and skiing. It really can't get better than that.
I used to like the holiday season. Halloween was full of treats and fun costumes and time spent with friends. Thanksgiving, with an annual trip to New York, was sometimes a bit boring, but the food was good, and it was a nice tradition that I could look forward to. Christmas was one of the most anticipated days of the year; I absolutely loved putting the millions of decorations up, then rushing down early in the morning to see piles of presents under a lavishly decorated tree. New Year’s Eve, one of the few days I was allowed to stay up so late, made me giddy with excitement as I played games and watched movies, all the while knowing that the next year was fast approaching. I used to enjoy these events every year, but somehow they just don’t have the same meaning for me anymore. Maybe it’s because I now only have one person to share them with, or maybe I’m just going crazy, getting old.
I like how you begin this passage by hinting at your point. It allows the reader to understand where you're coming from as you move through the description. However, when you get towards the end, where you start to expand on your point, I think it could be expanded more. Perhaps a better sense of what one of the holidays used to mean, compared with what it's like now, would set this up. Also, I now want to know why you only have one person to share the holidays with now. What happened? Overall, though, Brandon, this is a really good piece. It's a good thing that I want you to expand: it means I'm intrigued, and want more! Plus, I really love circular writing. Nice job!
I am sitting in my living room debating which holiday is the most special to me. My dad says I should definitely write about his birthday, because that should be my favorite day of the year. My mom says I should write about her birthday because this year we went on a really nice hike for her birthday, and because that should be my favorite day of the year. Much to their dismay, I have decided that my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. Not only because it is a day to express your gratitude for the blessings you have been given, but also because it is the first time that my brother and sister come home from college after leaving in the fall. Sitting around the table and listening to their stories of college adventures, and telling my sister about the things she has missed in her absence at Waynflete have made Thanksgiving a holiday filled with laughter and love.
Without a single doubt, or second thought, I know for a fact that my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I love spending time with my family, but that is not why that holiday strikes a chord with me. I love food. I just really love food, more than most things in this world. My grandparents and parents care about good food. That is something that they really forced on us as kids. Eat good food, cook good food, appreciate good food, and your life will be great. When Thanksgiving rolls around, it brings out the best chefs in all of us. We spend days preparing, and always purchase at least a 25 pound turkey from an organic farm in Downeast Maine. My aunt and I have already prepared the menu, and are assigning jobs to each person. It is a time when my whole family can come together, and appreciate something that has brought the family together for many many years.
I love this post, Lauren! I liked, and thought it was really funny, how your favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because of the food. I think you explain really well how you simply love Thanksgiving food, but it also represents a sentiment that your whole family has. I also really like how you explain how you cherish the food so much, creating a menu with your aunt, assigning job, buying such a big Turkey, etc. I think the only thing I would add are maybe some past experiences: your favorite Thanksgiving, least favorite, most memorable. But overall, really nice job!
Halloween used to be a day out of the ordinary. It was a time when I could be anything I wanted to be and a night where, instead of the usual dinner and evening activities, I would eat an early dinner either at my house, or a friends, and then spend the night laughing and running around the neighborhood. My friends and I would arrive back at the house exhausted, but still giddy, and pour through our bags of candy until dawn. Now, Halloween is an ordinary night. It is a night for practice, homework, regular clothes, and regular bed times. I don't know exactly when this change took place and I'm not even sure if it was a choice I made or an inevitable ultimatum. Now Halloween always falls in soccer playoffs, one of my favorite times of the year. This means I turn down plans and turn up my already large emphasis on soccer. But kids still come to my door, with smiles and a half filled bucket, and last year, Halloween fell on an away game day, so I scouted costumes from the car ride home. Halloween is still around me, but it is no longer in me. In some ways this deeply saddens me, and in some ways I know it's just part of growing up.
I really like this Julianna, and I can relate completely. Your description is good and I love the ending, especially the part where you say, "Halloween is still around me, but it is no longer in me." I think that's the arc of your essay, and it seems a bit off to have the sentence after it so you might try to combine the two sentences so that that part is closer to the end. It would just work better if it was the last words of the paragraph, that way it would have a bigger effect. Other than that, the paragraph is great. Good job!
I still remember the thrill of one Christmas Eve. As always we were having a family dinner at my grandmother’s house, which is ironically over a river (its actually just a small stream) and through the woods. I was hurrying the grown ups along with their dinner because I wanted to open my Christmas Eve present – a tradition we have had for as long as I can remember. I believe I got an American Girl doll that year, and I remember playing with her while the adults drank tea and coffee. When they were done, I pulled on my winter boots and zipped up my coat, which had been warming by the fire. With my new doll hugged tight to my chest we began our walk back home. We were halfway across the snowy field when I heard the sound of bells. Immediately, my eyes dart to the cloudless sky above me. Just as I thought, there was a blinking red light in the sky - it was Santa. I began running as fast as I could to get in bed. Looking back, my reaction seems silly, the light was an airplane and it was only my grandmother shaking the bells from her door. As I watch my cousin, now 5, nothing makes me happier to see her beaming with excitement when she hears the same bells and happens to see an airplane fly overhead.
Valentine’s Day is a very special holiday for me. It is both my birthday and a holiday. When I was little it worked out that it was far enough away from Christmas that I still got presents and it was during the school year so I got to celebrate at school too. I mean it was pretty cool to have candy made especially for your birthday, and to have pink heart shaped bagels for breakfast. There are a lot of people who were born on Valentine’s Day I have met at least 4 that I know of for sure, and I think there may be more. Maybe it just so happens that you remember when someone says their birthday is one the same day as yours, or maybe more people say when their birthday is it happens to be on a day with meaning to more than just you. In any case it is a good day to have a birthday.
When I was little, Eid meant looking forward to a day when adults would give me money because they would be feeling generous. It would usually only be a dollar or two. But, a dollar or two from two or three people added up pretty quickly. It meant driving over to the mall to eat wherever we wanted, and shopping for hours afterwards. Although, I would only come away with a few things, I was too picky. There are two Eid's that are celebrated each year, but the one I am talking about now is the one that occurs right after the month of fasting ends. And because I was too young to participate in fasting, I never got the full satisfaction of the celebration because I didn't understand it. A couple years ago, when I actually began fasting, Eid changed for me. It was a day of relief; no more waking up before sunrise to eat, I could snack during the day, I wasn't as tired. But, most of all, the day brought a wave of pride. I made it through the month, and it was a day to get dressed, drive over to prayer, and shop all day because I earned it.
Sometimes I get scared by the simplest things. It might be a gesture, a glance, a lack of either. Something inconsequential, and suddenly I am frightened, my heartbeat racing while I struggle to breath calmly. I am not terrified of the offending person, per se, more that I have given them too much of me. That they will take whatever I have given them and smash it back in my face. I'd laugh at myself if I could. A fear of rejection. It seems so trivial, but in those moments, it is the most significant part of me. So it has become my goal, my positive risk, to put myself out there more, even just a little bit. Even if it makes me want to hide. I don't want to be scared. I want to be strong. And so I make eye contact, shove my chin up a bit, and smile. Everything is going to be alright.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the most relatable posts that I've read, Haley Jo! It is well-constructed, as you describe the feeling of being afraid of being rejected, and then fluidly shift to how it afterwards seems like a trivial fear (though really, in the moment, there's nothing less trivial), and then end optimistically with how you counter your fear. The only thing I would change would be maybe to describe a bit more what makes you fear rejection--what you've said gets the idea across well, but it could be expanded. Really great job!
DeleteMy favorite holiday is Christmas, which we always celebrate with my grandparents in NH and various aunts, uncles, and cousins. It's steeped in tradition and only gets better with each passing year. But what I like even better than Christmas is the week following it, before school starts again. We spend that week (give or take a few days; sadly, the past few years have been "take" years) up at Sugarloaf, and while it's more crowded during vacation weeks than most weekends, there's an especially festive atmosphere. Plus, unlike normal weekends, there's never any homework to worry about, and, since we go straight from my grandparents' to our condo, I can surround myself with all my presents. There's also the Family New Years Eve party (I haven't worked up to the teen dance party yet, and probably never will), and watching the ball drop on TV, ringing in the new year. Family and presents and skiing. It really can't get better than that.
ReplyDeleteI used to like the holiday season. Halloween was full of treats and fun costumes and time spent with friends. Thanksgiving, with an annual trip to New York, was sometimes a bit boring, but the food was good, and it was a nice tradition that I could look forward to. Christmas was one of the most anticipated days of the year; I absolutely loved putting the millions of decorations up, then rushing down early in the morning to see piles of presents under a lavishly decorated tree. New Year’s Eve, one of the few days I was allowed to stay up so late, made me giddy with excitement as I played games and watched movies, all the while knowing that the next year was fast approaching. I used to enjoy these events every year, but somehow they just don’t have the same meaning for me anymore. Maybe it’s because I now only have one person to share them with, or maybe I’m just going crazy, getting old.
ReplyDeleteI like how you begin this passage by hinting at your point. It allows the reader to understand where you're coming from as you move through the description. However, when you get towards the end, where you start to expand on your point, I think it could be expanded more. Perhaps a better sense of what one of the holidays used to mean, compared with what it's like now, would set this up. Also, I now want to know why you only have one person to share the holidays with now. What happened?
DeleteOverall, though, Brandon, this is a really good piece. It's a good thing that I want you to expand: it means I'm intrigued, and want more! Plus, I really love circular writing. Nice job!
I am sitting in my living room debating which holiday is the most special to me. My dad says I should definitely write about his birthday, because that should be my favorite day of the year. My mom says I should write about her birthday because this year we went on a really nice hike for her birthday, and because that should be my favorite day of the year. Much to their dismay, I have decided that my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. Not only because it is a day to express your gratitude for the blessings you have been given, but also because it is the first time that my brother and sister come home from college after leaving in the fall. Sitting around the table and listening to their stories of college adventures, and telling my sister about the things she has missed in her absence at Waynflete have made Thanksgiving a holiday filled with laughter and love.
ReplyDeleteWithout a single doubt, or second thought, I know for a fact that my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I love spending time with my family, but that is not why that holiday strikes a chord with me. I love food. I just really love food, more than most things in this world. My grandparents and parents care about good food. That is something that they really forced on us as kids. Eat good food, cook good food, appreciate good food, and your life will be great. When Thanksgiving rolls around, it brings out the best chefs in all of us. We spend days preparing, and always purchase at least a 25 pound turkey from an organic farm in Downeast Maine. My aunt and I have already prepared the menu, and are assigning jobs to each person. It is a time when my whole family can come together, and appreciate something that has brought the family together for many many years.
ReplyDeleteI love this post, Lauren! I liked, and thought it was really funny, how your favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because of the food. I think you explain really well how you simply love Thanksgiving food, but it also represents a sentiment that your whole family has. I also really like how you explain how you cherish the food so much, creating a menu with your aunt, assigning job, buying such a big Turkey, etc. I think the only thing I would add are maybe some past experiences: your favorite Thanksgiving, least favorite, most memorable. But overall, really nice job!
DeleteHalloween used to be a day out of the ordinary. It was a time when I could be anything I wanted to be and a night where, instead of the usual dinner and evening activities, I would eat an early dinner either at my house, or a friends, and then spend the night laughing and running around the neighborhood. My friends and I would arrive back at the house exhausted, but still giddy, and pour through our bags of candy until dawn. Now, Halloween is an ordinary night. It is a night for practice, homework, regular clothes, and regular bed times. I don't know exactly when this change took place and I'm not even sure if it was a choice I made or an inevitable ultimatum. Now Halloween always falls in soccer playoffs, one of my favorite times of the year. This means I turn down plans and turn up my already large emphasis on soccer. But kids still come to my door, with smiles and a half filled bucket, and last year, Halloween fell on an away game day, so I scouted costumes from the car ride home. Halloween is still around me, but it is no longer in me. In some ways this deeply saddens me, and in some ways I know it's just part of growing up.
ReplyDeleteI really like this Julianna, and I can relate completely. Your description is good and I love the ending, especially the part where you say, "Halloween is still around me, but it is no longer in me." I think that's the arc of your essay, and it seems a bit off to have the sentence after it so you might try to combine the two sentences so that that part is closer to the end. It would just work better if it was the last words of the paragraph, that way it would have a bigger effect. Other than that, the paragraph is great. Good job!
DeleteI still remember the thrill of one Christmas Eve. As always we were having a family dinner at my grandmother’s house, which is ironically over a river (its actually just a small stream) and through the woods. I was hurrying the grown ups along with their dinner because I wanted to open my Christmas Eve present – a tradition we have had for as long as I can remember. I believe I got an American Girl doll that year, and I remember playing with her while the adults drank tea and coffee. When they were done, I pulled on my winter boots and zipped up my coat, which had been warming by the fire. With my new doll hugged tight to my chest we began our walk back home. We were halfway across the snowy field when I heard the sound of bells. Immediately, my eyes dart to the cloudless sky above me. Just as I thought, there was a blinking red light in the sky - it was Santa. I began running as fast as I could to get in bed.
ReplyDeleteLooking back, my reaction seems silly, the light was an airplane and it was only my grandmother shaking the bells from her door. As I watch my cousin, now 5, nothing makes me happier to see her beaming with excitement when she hears the same bells and happens to see an airplane fly overhead.
Valentine’s Day is a very special holiday for me. It is both my birthday and a holiday. When I was little it worked out that it was far enough away from Christmas that I still got presents and it was during the school year so I got to celebrate at school too. I mean it was pretty cool to have candy made especially for your birthday, and to have pink heart shaped bagels for breakfast. There are a lot of people who were born on Valentine’s Day I have met at least 4 that I know of for sure, and I think there may be more. Maybe it just so happens that you remember when someone says their birthday is one the same day as yours, or maybe more people say when their birthday is it happens to be on a day with meaning to more than just you. In any case it is a good day to have a birthday.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was little, Eid meant looking forward to a day when adults would give me money because they would be feeling generous. It would usually only be a dollar or two. But, a dollar or two from two or three people added up pretty quickly. It meant driving over to the mall to eat wherever we wanted, and shopping for hours afterwards. Although, I would only come away with a few things, I was too picky. There are two Eid's that are celebrated each year, but the one I am talking about now is the one that occurs right after the month of fasting ends. And because I was too young to participate in fasting, I never got the full satisfaction of the celebration because I didn't understand it. A couple years ago, when I actually began fasting, Eid changed for me. It was a day of relief; no more waking up before sunrise to eat, I could snack during the day, I wasn't as tired. But, most of all, the day brought a wave of pride. I made it through the month, and it was a day to get dressed, drive over to prayer, and shop all day because I earned it.
ReplyDelete